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- <text id=94TT1330>
- <title>
- Oct. 03, 1994: Essay:A Convert's Confession
- </title>
- <history>
- TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1994
- Oct. 03, 1994 Blinksmanship
- </history>
- <article>
- <source>Time Magazine</source>
- <hdr>
- ESSAY, Page 88
- A Convert's Confession
- </hdr>
- <body>
- <p>By Lance Morrow
- </p>
- <p> I was converted to the Roman Catholic Church in my adolescence.
- But I never had a convert's zeal. I never acquired that instinctive
- deep structure, that internal universe, that is installed in
- the cradle Catholic from the start--the spiritual DNA. Half
- in the church, half out, a kid who read too much Graham Greene
- and Thomas Merton, I embraced, it may be, the surface things:
- the brocaded rituals, the Latin Mass of those days, the rich
- atmospheres.
- </p>
- <p> Nor did I acquire the true deep structure of the church's doctrinal
- rationales, its ideals and distastes. The strictures involving
- family and divorce were fine print that I was too young to care
- about. The view of sex, which I cared about a lot, seemed punitive
- and refracted: at the margin of every sunny adolescent day there
- hung a black Jesuit thundercloud of reproval.
- </p>
- <p> Growing older, I have realized that the fine print is more important,
- more powerful than ritual or atmospherics. Still half in, half
- out of the church, wistfully faithful, I find myself puzzling
- over those contractual details. The church's ideals of family,
- for example, strike me as, by turns, heroic, profound or quaint.
- </p>
- <p> Or as profoundly self-destructive. Despite my respect for the
- church and my contempt for some of the overstimulated moral
- idiocy of the secular world, I think that in two areas--1)
- contraception and 2) ordination and the role of women--the
- church has gone needlessly, dangerously astray. John Paul II,
- who should be one of the greatest Popes, has settled for a curiously
- stolid "Here I stand." Strangely unevolved, he seems thus diminished
- in what should be a triumphant time.
- </p>
- <p> Any institution in business for 2,000 years is bound to be condescending
- about passing fads. Rome's attitude alternates between suggesting
- that concern about these issues (birth control, women's rights)
- is an ephemeral ideological trend and implying that such concern
- represents the vanguard of forces infinitely darker. Both reactions
- are wrong, I think.
- </p>
- <p> American Catholics--and millions elsewhere--understand that
- the church is simply out to lunch on the subject of birth control.
- If abortion is clearly wrong--and it is--the way to begin
- preventing abortions is to encourage contraception. Contraception
- sinlessly heads off the unwelcome pregnancy that might occasion
- the sin of abortion, that is, the destruction of rudimentary
- life. Only abstracted celibates and moral neurotics (I think)
- insist that a pill or condom contravenes the divine design for
- sex. On the contrary, contraception is an act of moral responsibility
- perfectly consistent with marital virtue and family cohesion.
- </p>
- <p> One can embrace the principle of contraceptive discretion without
- entering into the Cairo debate--Thomas Malthus vs. the More
- the Merrier School. Many conservatives, and such resolutely
- unalarmed observers of the world environment as the economist
- Julian Simon, see more people as the planet's greatest asset,
- economic and otherwise, and argue that in a free-market economy,
- sperm, ovaries and Adam Smith conspire to produce the best of
- all possible worlds. Let a billion flowers bloom. I consider
- this also to be a form of argumentative neurosis.
- </p>
- <p> I have puzzled for years over the church's dark, astigmatic
- view of sex. But sex is merely the narrow focus. The broader
- perspective--and failure--involves the church's view of
- women and their role in the world. It seems clear to me that
- a full, welcoming embrace of women as ordained equals in the
- priesthood, the hierarchy and the work of the church would refresh
- the institution, infuse it with new life, energy, hope and purpose.
- </p>
- <p> Strange that the church's leaders, with their intellectual tools
- and 20 centuries' experience, would fall into what might be
- called the Fallacy of Incidentals. Women are not ordained priests
- because Christ, in human form, was a man and chose male apostles.
- But surely maleness was incidental to the essence of Christ's
- teaching and importance. Those who build cathedrals of principle,
- unassailable traditions, around an unimportant or incidental
- distinction--one that is rooted in custom of distant time
- and, interminably preserved, becomes essentially inhuman--are doomed.
- </p>
- <p> The continuing damage done to the Catholic Church by the exclusion
- of women from the priesthood is hard to estimate. What is lost
- by keeping women out of the full priestly life amounts to a
- tragedy for the church. In that policy, a world of opportunity
- has been closed; life that might have flourished, women's souls
- sharing in the heart of the church, has been shut down.
- </p>
- <p> I hate the doctrinaire reductionism that coarsens all relationships
- between men and women into trench warfare. As the late Allan
- Bloom wrote, "The worst distortion of all is to turn love, a
- relation that is founded in natural sweetness, mutual caring,
- and the contemplation of eternity in shared children, into a
- power struggle." Some similar distortion of religion's natural
- sweetness and profound reciprocity has been too long accepted
- as part of the Catholic Church's design (male authority, female
- submission). I suspect that John Paul II feels that if the design
- is altered now, the whole structure will collapse.
- </p>
- <p> It is not so. The danger lies in the continuing distortion,
- the airless stasis of a bad tradition. All of this is one reason
- that I do not go to Mass much anymore.
- </p>
-
- </body>
- </article>
- </text>
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